You will overcome

Have you ever felt slighted? Overlooked might be a better word. I experience this quite often and I know it’s not intentional. When it happens you can feel despair. It’s as if no one sees your struggle and in my case they usually don’t. Although no one is at fault.

Last weekend was one of the lowest points I’ve had in many years. In all honesty I am left out in a sense on a regular basis. This has been my life for many years. When you have low vision and hearing you are cut off from people. You are at the mercy of someone caring to include you and helping you be a part of what’s going on. One on one I’m usually fine but anytime it’s a group of people, I’m struggling to understand . I get bits and pieces. It really disconnects me from people. That’s why I love talking to people online because there are no communication barriers. My low vision makes it a bit difficult because I must push through finding all the typos and a sense of humor to laugh in spite of the frustrations.

The enemy knows our weaknesses and last weekend I took quite a few blows . First it was my Facebook being suspended when I had done nothing wrong. That was a big connection to many people where I was not left out. It’s like God gave me an additional sense when people are struggling with life. I saw people who constantly posted things of sadness and being slighted by others. In these posts, I took the time to encourage and speak life to them. Social media platforms can be a ministry tool if used the right way. I was blown away that my page was suspended. My husband had a FB as well but had not used it in years, so we found his old password and got on his to file a complaint. We have not heard back from them. He said for me to use his page. Two days after I started using his, I got the same messsge that I was in violation of their standards. Whoa! Seriously?!?! I had posted all of FOUR things and none were offensive at all. I navigated around that and changed his password . So far we are still up but I don’t know for how long.

On to the second and third knock this past weekend, all which were unintentional. We were invited to a family dinner to celebrate my brothers two years anniversary of his bone marrow transplant. I loved being there for him. As we sat around the table I smiled and watched everyone conversing. I got bits and pieces but that’s all I can comprehend in a group. I depend on some one helping me to understand. The third knock came on Sunday, it was another unintentional thing. It was a lapse in communication among my deaf friends. Sometimes they prefer to FaceTime because sign language is so natural to them. FaceTiming is hard for me though because I don’t see all the signs. They did a group FaceTime and someone was to tell me but they forgot. I usually don’t care bit it was too many things in a short time; Facebook, family, then my closest friends.

Sunday after church I could not hold the tears. As we sat in Harpers splitting a pasta dish, the dam broke and out came the tears of frustration. Ron had been sitting across the table from me but. slipped into the seat beside me so I could feel his support.

That afternoon I cried out to God. Lord why does it have to be this way? Why do you disconnect me from people because of my hearing and visual issues? Lord these are things you could fix. Jesus you took a besting for our healing. Your word says in Isaiah 53:5 “But He was pierced for our offenses, He was crushed for our wrongdoings; The punishment for our well-being was laid upon Him, And by His wounds we are healed.”
‭‭ (NASB2020‬) God you see what I’m dealing with. Help me!

On Monday I had lunch with my deaf girlfriends. (All but one who had to work) they did not mean to hurt my feelings. It was unintentional. I shared about everything over the weekend and they understood. They too feel these things in family gatherings. One friend said her high school counselor had explained deafness well. Her counselor said some disabilities are invisible. People don’t know what you’re going through. The person right beside you could be crying out on the inside but not show it outwardly. I am that way. I can put on a smile despite what’s going on, most of the time. In my way of thinking, it’s no one’s fault that I have these limitations.

On Tuesday I had my Bible study with my neighbor who is like an older sister to me. On that day we talked about two names of God: El Roi the God who sees and El Shaddai, the all sufficient one. We are doing the Kay Athur study, “Lord I want to Know You”. It teaches the names of God revealed in the Bible and reveals God’s character. It’s amazing God had us cover these names this week, as He revealed His sufficiency and the fact that Hre sees it all. Studying Gods Word this week and knowing who He is, has reaffirmed my faith and hope in Jesus. I do not know why I have these ongoing hardships that are invisible to others. I know El Roi sees me and meets me where I am. I’m not going to lie, it’s tough but God is the anchor that keeps me steady when the going gets rough.

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 were two of the verses we discussed on Tuesday in Bible study. This is what these verses say: “And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in difficulties, in behalf of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭(NASB2020‬‬). I told my neighbor that I hoped to be like Paul one day when I can honestly say this. I’m not there yet.

I am so thankful for new mercies every day and renewed strength. He will continue to pour into me as I look to Him. In the meantime time as I journey on each day let me remind you that people need compassion and love. Just because someone looks fine on the outside does not mean they are fine on the inside. We can’t walk around with a sticker on our head saying, “Don’t forget me please”. Everyone is going through some thing. Let’s be there for each other. God uses people to do His work. Let’s always be available to do His work. We are in this together and Jesus helping every step of the way.

To read more of my story you can find my autobiography on amazon in hard cover, soft cover and e book formats. “Rooted by the Water ” by Shannon Kenley Hinson.