resilience – Page 3 – rootedbythewater.blog

Balancing Act

August 8, 20222 Comments

A few weeks ago I got my bosu ball out to begin working on my balance. I also found a Pilates app that has different routines to do to strengthen your body and help with flexibility. It is surprising how off balance I can be even on solid ground. I’m sure my low vision and hearing contribute to the balance issue. I’m also only implanted with a cochlear Implant in my right ear. My trouble with balance can be embarrassing as I always try to play it off if I wobble. I knew it was time to take action and do what I can to strengthen my core muscles .

When I first got my bosu ball out, I was amazed at how hard it was to find balance with the round side on the floor. One night right before bed at 11:30 I had the “bright idea” of closing my eyes to see if I could balance without looking. That was a very short experiment. As I tried to balance with the rounded side on the floor, as soon as I closed my eyes I fell straight over to my right side(The side my cochlear implant is on) I hit the carpet pretty hard causing a carpet burn on my knee. Otherwise I was fine. My husband heard the fall and came to investigate. I was laying on the floor laughing. I said, “No worries. I just fell over, that’s all.”

There is a life lesson in this. We need to keep our focus. If my eyes are open and fixed straight ahead, Im not as likely to waver in faith or character. Life is a balancing act. Equilibrium is so necessary: a calm purposeful focus on what’s most important.

Last week I felt stretched in all different directions and it had me stressed out. We were finishing up a home improvement project and having carpet put in that room. The day of installment was so confusing. The company went back and forth on if it was actually coming. Someone one said”Yes, it’s coming”, another said, “No we made a mistake”. It finally came that evening. Our son also started a new job doing something totally new to him. He’s working as an electrician apprentice. That caused some underlying anxiety to flare up. All the while, I was my husbands “sounding board”. Listening to your spouses frustrations is part of marriage but I don’t hear like a normal person and with everything else going on, I’d had more than enough! I needed quiet time to unwind and not have to listen to things I have zero control over. I went into our bedroom, for some time alone. My husband came in and said, “I love you.” I replied, “I love you too now go away.” I’m thankful my husband understands when I need peace and quiet after over stimulation.

Recently I asked a good friend who is also a neighbor if she would do a Bible study with me. We are doing “Lord I want to know you” by Kay Arthur. I’ve done this study years ago on the names of God in the Bible and how the names reveal who He is. As I started day 1 today, I was amazed at how the opening illustration reflected me right now. The illustration is of a doe running from a barking dog. The doe is exhausted from the chase and comes upon a person standing at a fence. Sensing security there the doe goes to him. As I reflected on that illustration I saw myself being exhausted by the chase of lie worries and frustrations. Life happens and we have to deal with it. God does not leave us to face it alone. He’s right there saying “Come to Me“. In Matthew‬ ‭11:28‬ ‭ Jesus is saying, “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”(NASB2020)

So you see life is a balancing act. Whether it’s with physical balance, life in general, relationships or spiritual, Jesus is there willing to help us stay steady. It will require focus on Him but it will be so worth it. Be encouraged and press on,

My website is still down. Thankfully I have the files but am waiting for a friend to show me how to transfer them to a new site. I’m hoping to combine my website and blog together. It is coming along just rather slowly. In the meantime if you’d like to check out my book “Rooted by the Water” you can find it on Amazon in hard cover, soft cover and e book formats. Thank you for journeying with me. Please subscribe to my blog and share it with others. Blessing to you all.

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My first Zoom meeting

July 26, 20223 Comments

I accidentally took this screenshot while my iPad was under my video magnifier. The lower right square was supposed to be my face but it’s the machine 😂😂

I just had my first “Zoom” meeting experience. Let me just say, that was interesting! The Advanced Bionics Cochlear Implant Consumer Specialist (CICS) in the Southeast region invited me to attend the nation wide zoom training for mentors. I certainly have my doubts about this. Yes, I would love to share my story! Yes, I love to positively encourage others and share tips. I’ve had my CI for 16 years but I also am legally blind. My success rate has been all over the scale during the last 16 years.

Yesterday I had another mapping with my Audiologist. She turned my levels up and made a few adjustments so I could understand better when I left her office. She encouraged me to try the mentor training. She said there are all levels of success, so I gave it a try today.

The zoom meeting was closed captioned but it was so small I had to zoom in on my iPad to follow along. When I zoomed in on the iPad I could no longer see the speakers. I finally decided to use my video magnifier for people with low vision. This machine makes things large. Once the iPad was on the video magnifier the group could no longer see my face but rather saw the magnifying machine. When the main group broke into regional groups the captioning disappeared but I saw a familiar face. With the captioning no longer working I decided to just zoom in on faces. Oh the things I try when faced with a new challenge. Zooming in large in a zoom meeting! How ironic!

One big take away from this experience, for a good zoom experience, either hearing(even with cochlear implant technology) or sight is so helpful. If you are like me and limited in both categories you will need a big dose of patience and a determination to try anyway. One thing I bring to the table of mentoring is the mentality to never ever give up. Where there is a will, there is a way. I will try again if I’m sent another invitation to the next meeting in September.

The picture below sits on a table in our family room. It’s a reminder to me and anyone else who sees it to believe in yourself. Everyone brings a unique set of abilities to the table. We all fall short in some areas but God’s power is made perfect in our weaknesses. That’s one huge reason to be thankful.

My website is currently down as I wait for the release of my files. I’m hoping to combine my website and blog together. In the meantime if you’d like to check out my autobiography “Rooted by the Water” you can find it on Amazon in hard over, soft cover and e book formats. Thank you for journeying with me. Please subscribe to my blog and share it with others. Blessing to you all.

One Year Anniversary

July 19, 20222 Comments

Today marks one year since I started blogging. One year of sharing encouragement and pouring into others. One year of sharing my struggles and allowing you all in to witness personal growth. As I looked at my stats today, I saw my blog site has had 2197 views, 1417 visitors and 82 posts. My goal has been and continues to be, to encourage others to never give up in difficulties. I want people to see that there is HOPE and God is faithful. There is much that I don’t understand in life. Everyday is a classroom, teaching us about ourselves, God and the people He surrounds us with.

I love how God uses nature to teach us life lessons. This past Saturday I had a first time ever experience. Mom and I got to pick blueberries at our friends house before our book club meeting began. You might think this is totally off topic, but stay with me as I tie it in. At age 53, this was my first time seeing blueberries on a bush. Having low vision made it a bit tricky for me to pick the ripe berries. I discovered that I had to get in the bush, close enough so I could see which berries were ripe. For some reason I thought it humorous to have to be in the bush, arms wet from morning dew on the huge bushes, so I could pick the sweet fruit. Berries fresh off a bush are the best. There was a reward for getting in there and getting a bit wet and dirty. Life is just like that. You have to “get in” to gleam the rewards. With blogging I have to “get in there” in order to encourage others. I’m thankful for the opportunity and it warms my heart when people around the world choose to take the time to read my thoughts. Besides the United States my blog has also been seen in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Nigeria, Kenya, Australian, Canada and China to name a few.

We all have opportunities to share history by sharing “his”story, or in other words, by sharing the journey God has you on. What is God showing you? How can you surrender to Him and allow Him to pour into your life so you can pour into others around you? We will encounter hardships and struggles but it is so worth it. Being a vessel God can work through is an honor. Let’s take every opportunity to impact the world for Gods glory.

My website is currently down as I wait for the release of my files. I’m hoping to combine my website and blog together. In the meantime if you’d like to check out my book “Rooted by the Water” you can find it on Amazon in hard over, soft cover and e book formats. Thank you for journeying with me. Please subscribe to my blog and share it with others. Blessing to you all.

Stirred byWhat?

July 11, 2022Leave a Comment

Today I’d like to continue on the topic of stirring. Specifically what stirs you? What irritates you and prompts you to speak or act? There are so many things that stir people to react that it’s impossible to list them all. The level of maturity, restraint, strength, self control and compassion can dictate how you handle those things that trigger you.

Yesterday my son Joshua and I spent some time together. He is one of my favorite people. Since returning home from Arizona he has moved back in with us until he decides what he wants to do. We are savoring this time together. He has had some quality times with his dad but yesterday it was just the two of us. We got some subs from Jersey Mikes then got groceries. We talked about all sorts of things. We came across the topic of things that are annoying. It was kind of funny because dealing with people can be a huge test of character. As I listened I understood his point of view and I also took his age into consideration. When I was 24 I thought along the same lines. Amazing how wisdom comes with age. I told him people will be people. You can’t let it bother you. It’s best to just let it go. Sure it is annoying and yes it takes self control to not respond to it but we have to rise above the situation and let it go. Life is largely out of our control. We don’t have to let negativity around us affect our day. Just do what you can with kindness and move on. A positive loving word can go a long way.

So what stirs people? Why are people so angry, bitter,self centered and proud? Granted, I do miss a lot having low vision and hearing issues but I truly “see” people. I ask questions. I ask my husband things all the time. I ask him about peoples face expressions and things they say. I ask him about people driving along, what they look like, expressions and mannerisms. I’m just intrigued by human nature and how people respond to things. Behind every harsh look or bitter response there is a person who quite possibly is hurting and in need of grace and love. When situations and people make you angry think beyond the situation to what truly is the root of the issue. The Bible tells us in Ephesians‬ ‭6:12, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”(New Living Translation) Let’s let that scripture sink into our hearts.

There is more to be shared on this topic. Im going to meditate on Gods Word and see what he reveals to me. Stay tuned…..
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The Missing Link

June 27, 20222 Comments

There is glorious light at the end of this struggle. Today I went back to my Audiologist for another mapping (programming) of my Advanced Bionics Marvel cochlear implant processor. The last several weeks have been quite an interesting challenge. After a week of a sound diet, having no auditory stimulation, followed by turning the processor back on to a low level; today she found the missing link. I had three electrodes that were turned off for some reason. My Audiologist tried turning them all back on but it was just one that made a big difference. Turning that one electrode back on brought a crispness back to sound. It no longer sounds muffled. She also turned the other two electrodes on and off while I listened to my husbands voice. I could understand him better with those two electrodes off. My nerves were able to tolerate the increase in sound without any eye twitching. I can’t begin to tell you how relieved I am. I am so so thankful to the Lord for His direction and wisdom. Ron and I have prayed throughout this process and family and friends have also prayed. It will take me some time to adjust to the new mapping but I’m all smiles! I can hear myself above the background noise so I know how loud to speak. I will have to get out in the environment to practice. If I learned anything this past time, I learned to ease into it. I will navigate this next stage with a more balanced approach. I am eager to explore sound and see what I can understand but I will not push myself too hard this time.

Thank you Lord for lessons learned. Thank you Lord for always being my anchor that holds me when troubled waters come along. Thank you for your promises that are new every morning.

We are considering looking into getting my other ear implanted. It is something that will require much prayer. It is an option to think and pray about. In the meantime, I will be working with what I have and trying my best to succeed with what God has given me. God is faithful always.

Never give up. It’s easy to get overwhelmed at times and changing coping methods is needed. However, giving up is not an option. It’s okay to take a step back, rest, refocus and ease into it again. There is help and support, you just have to be willing to accept it. You are never alone in the struggles! God is always right there with you as you lift up your voice in praise, thanksgiving and prayer. Help is on the way. It might not always look like you think it will. Putting your trust in God will see you through. God is faithful always! Let Him help you.

If you happen to come across this blog post for the first time. I encourage you to read my autobiography ”Rooted by the Water”. It’s a true story of how God has enabled me to overcome great difficulties, not by my own strength but through His strength made perfect in my weaknesses. You can find it on Amazon and many other online retailers such as Barnes & Noble, Books a Million, Target and Walmart.

Burnt-out

June 20, 20222 Comments

Today was a test for my nerves. Optimism and a positive outlook can get you places but at a certain point circumstances start to wear on you and you can begin to sputter out. That describes me perfectly today. This was not an unusual day. I woke up with the mindset to overcome just like I do everyday but by mid afternoon my nerves were shot.

June 10th was the start of my “sound diet” that lasted until June 16th. That was six days with no auditory stimulation. When my audiologist turned my cochlear implant processor back on that day I could only tolerate low levels. It’s like small steps forward with my brain adjusting to the sound levels. I’ve always had that “Can do” mindset but I feel all tuckered out. I’ve been adjusting to this new map (programming) for four days now. Life doesn’t stop but you push through. There’s been a funeral, wedding, Fathers Day celebration, church, dinners, grocery shopping, a walk with a friend, discussions etc. all while background noises are drowning out voices and I don’t hear how loud I’m talking. Yesterday I actually asked my husband if my face looked tired because I try to smile through it all. My facial muscles actually felt tired. Today I was just done. Having low vision makes lip reading a challenge and the current programming makes it difficult for me to comprehend. I finally just took it off today. Sometimes you have to listen to your body and let it unwind. I have seven days until my next appointment for another mapping / programming. God willing the next adjustment will be a God-send, with just the right adjustments that will lighten this load. I rarely complain. Complaining gets you no where in life. Prayer, praise and thanksgiving are the ways to victory. One prayer at a time.. one heartfelt song of praise at a time..stepping forward step by step, God leads the way. Took a good rest today but forward on I go.

Www.shannonkenleyhinson.com

Reactivation…baby steps

June 16, 20224 Comments

Today was the day I got to put my Marvel cochlear implant processor back on. It didn’t go exactly like I thought it would. It seemed more like baby stepping stones to take to get towards a goal of better hearing and comprehension of speech. I’m not even close to being there yet. However I went in hearing nothing and came out hearing a little bit so it is a step forward.

Describing this reprogramming eludes me. It was like starting from scratch. I’ve had my implant for 16 years. Since I started having some difficulties understanding speech my audiologist thought perhaps my auditory nerve was over stimulated. All my levels were high although not quite at the very top of the chart. It made sense to go on the “sound diet” so my nerves could rest. I think I went in with higher expectations than I should have. It was like starting back at the beginning, listening to various pitched beeps. They started very quiet and I had to tell her when it was at a comfortable volume. I was mindful of the fact my levels needed to be lower than before. It was super frustrating. As I sat there I started to sweat as I tried to put into words what it sounded like so she could make adjustments. My descriptions ranged from; it sounds like my head is in a tunnel, the microphones sound like they are covered, it’s muffled, volumes seems to go up and down with just a few words spoken. It was so odd.

My take away from today is it’s going to be a process. Progress requires one step at a time. My audiologist wants me to have a week for my brain to adjust to this new programming then I will go back for more changes. Step by step, God willing this will improve. My levels are about two thirds down which is good, we just need to figure out the next changes to make that will work for me. I did some auditory therapy tonight using the iAngel Sound app. I started with basics, food names and animal names. I could understand some of it but it was tricky. My score was down about twenty points from where I scored months ago. I will just need to readjust.

Here are a few reflections during this week and having sound turned back on. Silence is not golden. Not hearing separates you from people. When you have low vision like me, environmental sounds are important. Nothing makes your family work on their signing skills more than when they have to. 😂 Hearing no sound for a week makes you appreciate the little everyday sounds that are taken for granted. Rest is much easier without the noise. Prayer time has been different last week, not being able to really hear myself. I like to pray out loud in my quiet time. It helps me focus and I can speak Gods Word. When I speak the Word I like to hear what I’m saying.

I know things will get better. As the Audiologist was typing and programming, I was sitting there praying for God given direction and wisdom to make the exact changes I need. I go back in a little over a week for some more adjustments. Keep the prayers coming. Thanks for all the support. God bless you all!

Www.shannonkenleyhinson.com

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Are we done yet? I’m ready! Speed it up!

June 15, 20222 Comments

Sound off Days 4,5 & 6

Day 4
Today was pretty uneventful. I’m starting to get a little bit used to this. Silence is NOT golden but it is rather peaceful. Ron has been very helpful. I also saw Joshua and my mom today for the first time since the “sound diet” started. They both sign some so that was really helpful. I do miss the seemingly small and insignificant sounds that people take for granted. Four days down, two more to go but my appointment isn’t until Thursday afternoon. Thank you Lord for making this time go by fast.

Day 5
Today was a break from the usual. My friend Leasa and I went to the Carowinds waterpark. Leasa is deaf and we caught up by the wave pool, communicating through sign language. What a nice break from having to guess what’s being said. She always helps me with things I have trouble seeing as well. It was a day of fun and relaxing. Experiencing Carowinds sound free is quite different.

I have developed a rash around my eyes and on my neck that seems to be spreading. Most likely poison ivy. This has given me and Ron something else to talk about. He has been using the limited sign language that he knows and is being very helpful. Day 5 down with one and a half more to go.

Day 6

There is light or rather sound, at the end of this silent tunnel. Ron and I are both ready for me to have my processor turned back on. He was trying to tell me something this morning but he was signing ( sort of) the opposite of what he meant. After a few frustrating minutes he signed “thank God” then pointed to his ears and signed tomorrow. I took that as “Thank God you will have your processor back tomorrow“. God willing, things will sound much better and we can get my levels turned down and speech comprehension will improve. Keep praying!

Joshua stopped by today and is doing something with his Dad. He is finally signing instead of finger spelling so much. This is one of the silver liners in this experience. I love our son!

I can’t hear the doorbell and can barely hear Joy when she barks so I’m having to keep the front door opened ( but locked) because a friend is supposed to stop by to pick up something and I wouldn’t hear when she comes. I figured I would write this blog while I’m waiting.

Last night I had a strange dream. I dreamed I had been wearing my processor when I wasn’t supposed to be. Realizing my error I said, “ Oh crap I did it again.”. I think I’m more than ready to hear again as are those hearing people around me. Tomorrow…tomorrow… speed it up! I’m ready!

Www.shannonkenleyhinson.com

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Sound off days 1, 2 & 3

June 12, 20222 Comments

Day 1
We left the audiologist office laughing. I love a challenge and thought I’d approach this like a game. By this evening my nerves are in knots and I’m ready for “Calgon to take me away”! I will settle for Walmart brand bubble bath. Seriously there were so many times today I wanted to put my processor on! Thankfully it is electronically disabled (I think) so I’m stuck. Life still happens and there are still discussions to have but the communication process is currently broken. Ron has been talking as usual. I can’t blame him as we’ve been doing life as usual for 28 married years. I have to remind myself to take a deep breath and don’t snap. Show grace Shannon!

I received an encouraging email today from my Teacups ministry sister Ronnee. She encouraged me to look at it like a silent retreat with the Lord. What a neat perspective on this current challenge. I’m shifting my focus here. Ok Lord without the sense of physical hearing this week let me be keenly aware of spiritual hearing and grasp all You desire to show me and free me from. Day one down, five more to go. Now for that bubble bath! Good night!

Day 2
This morning when I woke up I went straight to where I keep my cochlear Implant processor but remembered it’s off limits. Putting my processor on each morning is the first thing I’ve done for sixteen years. Ron had a day trip planned so me and our dog Joy had the house to ourselves. After a long quiet time with the Lord, I got some chores done. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to put my processor on. Silence is somewhat disorienting. On an odd note, my balance seemed better today but I was tired by the time I went to sleep. I depend so heavily on my processor and with it off I’m having to depend on the vision I have. With 20/400 vision, I guess I’m milking my optic nerves for every stimulation available. 😳🤣Two days down, four more to go.

Day 3
As the saying goes, “Habits die hard”. This morning when my alarm went off again I picked up my processor to put it on. I was half asleep and the place I keep it at night is close to the bed. After this, I had to pack it away in its case so it’s not easily in reach. It’s in its case and put away for my next appointment with my Audi on Thursday afternoon.

I considered whether I would go to church or not. There is always an interpreter so that wasn’t my concern. Not hearing the environmental noises is so odd and uncomfortable but I knew God would meet me there. It was the most “silent” church service I’ve ever attended. 😂 I know emojis are not for writing but I’m inserting one to keep the humor alive. I’m so thankful for my friend Lauren who interpreted the service for me. It was nice to be able to communicate with someone without all the guessing of lip reading without audio clues. I could feel the beat to the music, probably due to Terry being on the Bass. I also heard Pastor’s voice slightly when he was all fired up. It was a powerful message. I’m thankful I got out of my comfort zone and went. There is blessing in obedience. Depending on all the visuals with low vision wore me out again. A good nap was calling my name when I got home.

Tonight when I go to sleep I will be half way finished with this”sound diet”. While I’m keeping a positive perspective, it’s not really like a silent retreat. I have been on those before and they lasted a couple of days with no talking and no devices, it was just one on one time with the Lord. Worship music and sounds of nature always connect me with God. Right now things are utterly silent. A bit unnerving but I’m half way through.

Lord speak in this silence and renew my nerves so I can comprehend speech better again. With my CI packed away for my next appointment, there won’t be the temptation of the habit of putting it on. Please keep the prayers coming.

Www.shannonkenleyhinson.com

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Sound off…Sound diet… Uumm okay

June 10, 2022Leave a Comment

Today at my audiologist appointment instead of a sound adjustment or programming changes to my cochlear implant processor, my processor was turned off. I’ve been having new issues with speech comprehension and we aren’t sure why. After testing my new (6 month old) cochlear implant processor and finding nothing wrong with it, we are taking a different approach. My program levels are pretty high which could possibly be overstimulating my auditory nerve. My audiologist suggest a “sound diet” for a week, meaning I won’t wear my processor at all. She even turned it off electronically so I don’t cheat.

This is going to be a real challenge because I am also legally blind. When I wake up in the morning the first thing I do is put on my cochlear implant processor and when I go to sleep at night, taking it off is the last thing I do. I depend on it for environmental sounds. So this is definitely going to be a challenge but I’ve always been up for a good challenge.

Having a positive perspective is more than half the fight. As we talked with the audiologist we asked if we could pray with her. God given wisdom is a must and we are trusting God for a good outcome, so we prayed together in her offic. Afterwards I turned to my husband and told him he better brush up on his signing skills this week. I also jokingly told my Audi I might end up thanking her next week because Ron is a talker. I’m always listening and trying to figure out what he is saying. Right before the processor was turned off Ron said to me “Bye”. I texted our son later and explained what was going on. He said, “Everything will work out fine and you might just enjoy it.” I remember writing in my book “Sound is nice but silence is golden.” I wonder if I will say that at the end of next week. Prayers appreciated. Ron might need them even more than me. This will be a test of patience. I guess this blog will be continued…..

If you’d like to read more of my story please check out my autobiography “Rooted by the Water”. It’s a true story of how God has enabled me to overcome great difficulties, not by my own strength but through His strength made perfect in my weaknesses. You can find it on Amazon and many other ponline retailers such as Barnes & Noble, Books a Million, Target and Walmart.

Www.shannonkenleyhinson.com

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