#faithoverfear – Page 9 – rootedbythewater.blog

Burnt-out

June 20, 20222 Comments

Today was a test for my nerves. Optimism and a positive outlook can get you places but at a certain point circumstances start to wear on you and you can begin to sputter out. That describes me perfectly today. This was not an unusual day. I woke up with the mindset to overcome just like I do everyday but by mid afternoon my nerves were shot.

June 10th was the start of my “sound diet” that lasted until June 16th. That was six days with no auditory stimulation. When my audiologist turned my cochlear implant processor back on that day I could only tolerate low levels. It’s like small steps forward with my brain adjusting to the sound levels. I’ve always had that “Can do” mindset but I feel all tuckered out. I’ve been adjusting to this new map (programming) for four days now. Life doesn’t stop but you push through. There’s been a funeral, wedding, Fathers Day celebration, church, dinners, grocery shopping, a walk with a friend, discussions etc. all while background noises are drowning out voices and I don’t hear how loud I’m talking. Yesterday I actually asked my husband if my face looked tired because I try to smile through it all. My facial muscles actually felt tired. Today I was just done. Having low vision makes lip reading a challenge and the current programming makes it difficult for me to comprehend. I finally just took it off today. Sometimes you have to listen to your body and let it unwind. I have seven days until my next appointment for another mapping / programming. God willing the next adjustment will be a God-send, with just the right adjustments that will lighten this load. I rarely complain. Complaining gets you no where in life. Prayer, praise and thanksgiving are the ways to victory. One prayer at a time.. one heartfelt song of praise at a time..stepping forward step by step, God leads the way. Took a good rest today but forward on I go.

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Reactivation…baby steps

June 16, 20224 Comments

Today was the day I got to put my Marvel cochlear implant processor back on. It didn’t go exactly like I thought it would. It seemed more like baby stepping stones to take to get towards a goal of better hearing and comprehension of speech. I’m not even close to being there yet. However I went in hearing nothing and came out hearing a little bit so it is a step forward.

Describing this reprogramming eludes me. It was like starting from scratch. I’ve had my implant for 16 years. Since I started having some difficulties understanding speech my audiologist thought perhaps my auditory nerve was over stimulated. All my levels were high although not quite at the very top of the chart. It made sense to go on the “sound diet” so my nerves could rest. I think I went in with higher expectations than I should have. It was like starting back at the beginning, listening to various pitched beeps. They started very quiet and I had to tell her when it was at a comfortable volume. I was mindful of the fact my levels needed to be lower than before. It was super frustrating. As I sat there I started to sweat as I tried to put into words what it sounded like so she could make adjustments. My descriptions ranged from; it sounds like my head is in a tunnel, the microphones sound like they are covered, it’s muffled, volumes seems to go up and down with just a few words spoken. It was so odd.

My take away from today is it’s going to be a process. Progress requires one step at a time. My audiologist wants me to have a week for my brain to adjust to this new programming then I will go back for more changes. Step by step, God willing this will improve. My levels are about two thirds down which is good, we just need to figure out the next changes to make that will work for me. I did some auditory therapy tonight using the iAngel Sound app. I started with basics, food names and animal names. I could understand some of it but it was tricky. My score was down about twenty points from where I scored months ago. I will just need to readjust.

Here are a few reflections during this week and having sound turned back on. Silence is not golden. Not hearing separates you from people. When you have low vision like me, environmental sounds are important. Nothing makes your family work on their signing skills more than when they have to. 😂 Hearing no sound for a week makes you appreciate the little everyday sounds that are taken for granted. Rest is much easier without the noise. Prayer time has been different last week, not being able to really hear myself. I like to pray out loud in my quiet time. It helps me focus and I can speak Gods Word. When I speak the Word I like to hear what I’m saying.

I know things will get better. As the Audiologist was typing and programming, I was sitting there praying for God given direction and wisdom to make the exact changes I need. I go back in a little over a week for some more adjustments. Keep the prayers coming. Thanks for all the support. God bless you all!

If you happen to come across this blog post for the first time. I encourage you to read my autobiography ”Rooted by the Water”. It’s a true story of how God has enabled me to overcome great difficulties, not by my own strength but through His strength made perfect in my weaknesses. You can find it on Amazon and many other online retailers such as Barnes & Noble, Books a Million, Target and Walmart.

Www.shannonkenleyhinson.com

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Are we done yet? I’m ready! Speed it up!

June 15, 20222 Comments

Sound off Days 4,5 & 6

Day 4
Today was pretty uneventful. I’m starting to get a little bit used to this. Silence is NOT golden but it is rather peaceful. Ron has been very helpful. I also saw Joshua and my mom today for the first time since the “sound diet” started. They both sign some so that was really helpful. I do miss the seemingly small and insignificant sounds that people take for granted. Four days down, two more to go but my appointment isn’t until Thursday afternoon. Thank you Lord for making this time go by fast.

Day 5
Today was a break from the usual. My friend Leasa and I went to the Carowinds waterpark. Leasa is deaf and we caught up by the wave pool, communicating through sign language. What a nice break from having to guess what’s being said. She always helps me with things I have trouble seeing as well. It was a day of fun and relaxing. Experiencing Carowinds sound free is quite different.

I have developed a rash around my eyes and on my neck that seems to be spreading. Most likely poison ivy. This has given me and Ron something else to talk about. He has been using the limited sign language that he knows and is being very helpful. Day 5 down with one and a half more to go.

Day 6

There is light or rather sound, at the end of this silent tunnel. Ron and I are both ready for me to have my processor turned back on. He was trying to tell me something this morning but he was signing ( sort of) the opposite of what he meant. After a few frustrating minutes he signed “thank God” then pointed to his ears and signed tomorrow. I took that as “Thank God you will have your processor back tomorrow“. God willing, things will sound much better and we can get my levels turned down and speech comprehension will improve. Keep praying!

Joshua stopped by today and is doing something with his Dad. He is finally signing instead of finger spelling so much. This is one of the silver liners in this experience. I love our son!

I can’t hear the doorbell and can barely hear Joy when she barks so I’m having to keep the front door opened ( but locked) because a friend is supposed to stop by to pick up something and I wouldn’t hear when she comes. I figured I would write this blog while I’m waiting.

Last night I had a strange dream. I dreamed I had been wearing my processor when I wasn’t supposed to be. Realizing my error I said, “ Oh crap I did it again.”. I think I’m more than ready to hear again as are those hearing people around me. Tomorrow…tomorrow… speed it up! I’m ready!

Www.shannonkenleyhinson.com

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Sound off days 1, 2 & 3

June 12, 20222 Comments

Day 1
We left the audiologist office laughing. I love a challenge and thought I’d approach this like a game. By this evening my nerves are in knots and I’m ready for “Calgon to take me away”! I will settle for Walmart brand bubble bath. Seriously there were so many times today I wanted to put my processor on! Thankfully it is electronically disabled (I think) so I’m stuck. Life still happens and there are still discussions to have but the communication process is currently broken. Ron has been talking as usual. I can’t blame him as we’ve been doing life as usual for 28 married years. I have to remind myself to take a deep breath and don’t snap. Show grace Shannon!

I received an encouraging email today from my Teacups ministry sister Ronnee. She encouraged me to look at it like a silent retreat with the Lord. What a neat perspective on this current challenge. I’m shifting my focus here. Ok Lord without the sense of physical hearing this week let me be keenly aware of spiritual hearing and grasp all You desire to show me and free me from. Day one down, five more to go. Now for that bubble bath! Good night!

Day 2
This morning when I woke up I went straight to where I keep my cochlear Implant processor but remembered it’s off limits. Putting my processor on each morning is the first thing I’ve done for sixteen years. Ron had a day trip planned so me and our dog Joy had the house to ourselves. After a long quiet time with the Lord, I got some chores done. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to put my processor on. Silence is somewhat disorienting. On an odd note, my balance seemed better today but I was tired by the time I went to sleep. I depend so heavily on my processor and with it off I’m having to depend on the vision I have. With 20/400 vision, I guess I’m milking my optic nerves for every stimulation available. 😳🤣Two days down, four more to go.

Day 3
As the saying goes, “Habits die hard”. This morning when my alarm went off again I picked up my processor to put it on. I was half asleep and the place I keep it at night is close to the bed. After this, I had to pack it away in its case so it’s not easily in reach. It’s in its case and put away for my next appointment with my Audi on Thursday afternoon.

I considered whether I would go to church or not. There is always an interpreter so that wasn’t my concern. Not hearing the environmental noises is so odd and uncomfortable but I knew God would meet me there. It was the most “silent” church service I’ve ever attended. 😂 I know emojis are not for writing but I’m inserting one to keep the humor alive. I’m so thankful for my friend Lauren who interpreted the service for me. It was nice to be able to communicate with someone without all the guessing of lip reading without audio clues. I could feel the beat to the music, probably due to Terry being on the Bass. I also heard Pastor’s voice slightly when he was all fired up. It was a powerful message. I’m thankful I got out of my comfort zone and went. There is blessing in obedience. Depending on all the visuals with low vision wore me out again. A good nap was calling my name when I got home.

Tonight when I go to sleep I will be half way finished with this”sound diet”. While I’m keeping a positive perspective, it’s not really like a silent retreat. I have been on those before and they lasted a couple of days with no talking and no devices, it was just one on one time with the Lord. Worship music and sounds of nature always connect me with God. Right now things are utterly silent. A bit unnerving but I’m half way through.

Lord speak in this silence and renew my nerves so I can comprehend speech better again. With my CI packed away for my next appointment, there won’t be the temptation of the habit of putting it on. Please keep the prayers coming.

Www.shannonkenleyhinson.com

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Don’t throw it in!,

June 8, 20223 Comments

Sometimes when I write I feel a fire burning inside as I desire to encourage others. This is one of those times. Let’s be honest! Life is tough! You might be tempted to throw in the towel and say, ”Just forget it! I’m tired of the struggle!” Let me encourage you, don’t throw in that towel! Keep pushing forward! Keep believing! Keep fighting!

Yesterday I received some discouraging news about a dear friend who is being moved to hospice. This was pretty shocking! She had back surgery in April but has had complication after complication. The doctors have done all they can do. When faced with situations like this it’s so easy to take the doctors word and let go. A group of friends and I have a group chat going on to pray fervently for our dear friend. Yesterday one of the ladies shared a picture of a note our friends grandson wrote. It was a precious note to encourage, reminding his Grandpa that this was just an obstacle in life. – That dear friends is child like faith. God gets the last word not the doctors. As long as there is breath in her lungs, there is hope that God can turn this around. Join me in prayer for our sweet friend. God knows her name and the exact situation. I choose to believe God.

Last night I invited my Mom to go to a Teacups ministry event. I’ve only been a few times but the ladies are so welcoming and it’s always nice. It was a chance for Mom to meet more ladies from her church. The last few times I went it’s been a larger group. Being hearing and visually impaired, I don’t do that great in groups. Currently I’m having issues hearing with my cochlear implant and last night was way out of my comfort zone with all the voices to try to understand. But I “pressed in my heels” and tried anyway. I’m glad I did! I saw one lady there going through cancer treatment. She was all smiles with a scarf wrapped around her head. She is victorious! I saw other ladies there enduring pain in their bodies. They could have stayed home but they chose to come. Another lady’s son in law is going through some difficulties with his vision. I can relate and plan to reach out to encourage.

My point? Keep moving forward! Keep pressing on! Sometimes we have to live life “moment by moment”. Whatever it takes, don’t throw the towel in. God has us in the palm of His hands. He invites us to bring all our concerns and needs to Him. When the doctor gives bad news, trust Gods promises! When things in society seem to be spiraling downwards, trust God! Speak life and pray without ceasing!

Last night some of the ladies decorated rocks. I didn’t do one since it’s hard to see. One lady made one for me with the scripture Joshua 1:9 on it. I looked it up when I got home. It said, “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” She will never know how perfect this was for me.

If you’d like to read more of my story please check out my autobiography “Rooted by the Water”. It’s a true story of how God has enabled me to overcome great difficulties, not by my own strength but through His strength made perfect in my weaknesses. You can find it on Amazon and many other online retailers such as Barnes & Noble, Books a Million, Target and Walmart.

Www.shannonkenleyhinson.com

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Thankfulness

May 30, 20221 Comment

As I sit on the back porch this Memorial Day morning I’m thankful. I’m thankful for the freedom to sit here with my dog Joy and listen to the birds singing. I’m thankful for the brave men and women who serve our country and for those who gave it all for our freedom. I’m thankful for Jesus who renews our hope each day.

Yesterday at church I was reminded to offer up sacrifices of praise to God, even in the waiting and frustrations of life. Lord let me always be mindful to PRAISE YOU anyway!

Lately I have felt so weighed down by life, the world, issues with my “state of the art” cochlear implant processor. As the list of concerns goes on, I can find myself overwhelmed. But yesterday at church as I listened with tears rolling down my face, I was reminded to be thankful in the waiting period even though it seems I’m always in a waiting period. All I can do is pray, praise and trust God to move. Our country, our world, society at large is so broken because it rejects Jesus. I can’t do anything about it but pray and allow God to use me in whatever way he desires to bring about healing in our world. Let’s pause today and be thankful. Let’s pray continually and give thanks because our God is faithful.

Www.shannonkenleyhinson.com

He never stops working

May 18, 20222 Comments

This evening I went outside after dinner to water my plants. It’s been so hot today and the next several days are supposed to be the same. While I was outside I lost track of time and by the time I came in Wednesday night prayer was almost over. I caught the last few minutes online as the praise team was singing “Way Maker”. I love this song and especially the part that say: ”Even when I don’t see that your working. Even when I don’t feel that your working. You never stop you never stop working. You never stop, you never stop working .” I love that and it’s so true. We can rest in the knowledge that even when we don’t see it or feel it, God is always working to bring about His perfect will.

This is a good reminder for me. I have prayed hard for over 13 years about a certain situation. Every year we endure an appointment with an eye specialist and every year I pray for improvement. As I waited at home to hear how the appointment went, I walked with a friend and we prayed together. My husband finally texted me saying, “Praise God it’s stable! No change and same prescription!”. While this isn’t the exact answer I was hoping for it is still a good report. I do know that God can turn any situation around so we keep believing and keep praying for improvement. God is our creator who can make something out of nothing. He can renew nerves, and bring about optimal eye health. My heart is full of thanksgiving for stability. After my friend left I sat down at the piano to play some worship songs. I played, “You deserve the glory” and “Tremble”. I played them over and over as I waited for the report. Thank you Jesus for answered prayers. This is behind us until next years appointment. One day this will be behind us for good but while we wait for that day we will keep praying and thanking God. We are so thankful for praying family and friends.

If you are praying and have not received the answer yet I encourage you to not give up. God is faithful and always on time. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Keep the faith and keep hope alive. God is faithful always.

You can find out more about my story in my autobiography, “Rooted by the Water”. My life story of Gods power at work in my weaknesses. Find it on Amazon and other online retailers.

Www.shannonkenleyhinson.com

Remember Your Journey

May 17, 20222 Comments

Lately I have been trying to stay busy and keep my mind occupied so I don’t become anxious. Trying my best to just trust God and His perfect timing. As I was reading a chapter in Micah this morning, the words “remember your journey” caught my attention. I have been reading the New Living Translation. Sometimes I can become too accustomed to a certain translation that I don’t read it as carefully. Today Micah 6:5 stood out to me. “Don’t you remember, my people, how King Balak of Moab tried to have you cursed and how Balaam son of Beor blessed you instead? And remember your journey from Acacia Grove to Gilgal, when I, the Lord, did everything I could to teach you about my faithfulness.” That’s such a thought provoking verse. Just think of how many times the enemy has tried to curse us over the course of our journey BUT GOD turned it around. Just think of all the times over the course of our journey God did everything He possibly could to show us His faithfulness! So as we walk through the stormy clouds of uncertainty we can rest in the knowledge that God is faithful always. He has brought us thus far and won’t leave us alone. He is in our midst. I am keeping my eyes solely on Jesus, who is my peace.

Yesterday I told Ron, “I look back and marvel at how much God has changed us over the years.” I told him if given the choice to go back I would not. God has given so much wisdom through the fiery trials. I am amazed and humbled at how faithful and merciful our God is. Lord give us your eyes to see the world and people the way You do: A sea of humanity needing acceptance, love, mercy, peace and healing. Remember your journey! See what God has done and give Him praise! Be blessed!

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Release it again

May 6, 20224 Comments

Sometimes we think we have things handled well until something triggers a flare up in anxiety and you realize it’s been hiding deep down inside unnoticed. Several flare ups have occurred this week and it has somewhat surprised me that anxiety is still lurking. Past experiences can leave little scars that you don’t realize are still there. This week I have kept busy while our son is doing an adventurous cross country camping trip with a friend, in tents. Each day I have either walked with my neighbor or a friend. We walk, talk, encourage and pray. Several times this week I have confessed my feelings of rising anxiety about hidden fears that I didn’t realize still exist.

As the week unfolded I thought of how James 5:15 tells us, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” In my heart I know that Jesus doesn’t want us walking around anxious but wants us to bring each and every fear and situation to him. As I type this there is a severe thunderstorm warning in effect. Storms have never bothered me but the boys are traveling home. I keep repeating; pray, believe trust, release. Repeat… pray, believe, trust and release. We have zero control over many things in life. The saying goes, “Life is10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it.” My way of dealing with life is to pray, pray and pray some more. The Bible also tells me in Philippians 4:6 “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Maybe I need to add thanksgiving in as well. Lord thank you that we can come boldly before your throne of grace because of the shed blood of Jesus and you hear our hearts prayer.

Today as I ended my walk with my friend Valerie I told her I wanted to pray with her. We were standing at the end of my driveway. As I held her hands and prayed over her, her family, my family and just everything, it was a precious time. As I said “Amen” I noticed a FedEx truck was parked nearby. I told my friend that the driver probably saw something he didn’t see often, people praying together in the driveway. I sure hope it was as big of a blessing to that driver as it was to us.

Life is such a toss up of so many things. We never know what’s around the next corner. As I’ve been writing this blog I’ve seen many severe weather alerts, a couple tornado watches and now sun. I had the dog move with me to the floor of the bathroom. I honestly set my iPad on the commode lid as I typed and waited. My dog must have thought I was out of my mind. I ventured out and saw the sun shining through the windows. Now it’s dark again. All I can say is “ Lord I don’t know what’s on the radar but you do. Amen! He is El Roi the God who sees. As long as my Heavenly Father is at watch, everything is going to be alright. So let’s rest in that knowledge and pray, believe, trust, give thanks and release it as many times as needed.

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TikTok anybody?

April 8, 20224 Comments

I can hear it now, “Surely she’s not going to write on this subject”. I surely will and ask you to hear me out. Please keep reading.

Last May when my autobiography “Rooted by the Water” came out my publisher suggested promoting on social media platforms. In the process of doing this I have discovered some writers groups. One of these groups has amazing suggestions of how other self published authors successfully promote their books. It was there I found out about Booktok which is a part of TikTok.

When I first considered different options for promoting I saw how very expensive hiring a professional publicist and marketing pro can be. The beauty of Tiktok is that it’s free promotion but you have to do the work and learn the system. Doing this with low vision is so time consuming!

The thought of TikTok itself was so intimidating because as someone who does not watch tv I can be easily blown away by things people post. I’ve never seen such vanity and cries for “look at me!” I’m like, “You people need to cover up! My goodness! Know your worth!” It’s an understatement that I was shocked at what some people post but I learned how the system works and would quickly scroll on past the offensive ones.

As I learned, I found the “discover” section where you can search what you’re looking for. I search for Booktok, Christian TikTok, true story, Christian Booktok, deaf blind and many more. As I typed these things in to search, great videos came up of Christian books, people sharing devotions, words of encouragement, worship music, nature and more. Therein lies the beauty. The videos are very very short and repetitive, so if I don’t understand it I just listen again. I began to realize it’s a great auditory therapy resource for practicing with my Advanced Bionics Marvel cochlear implant processor . I just make sure what I’m listening to is something I want to keep hearing and not offensive.

Actually creating the videos is a whole different story. It took me years to accept my limitations with hearing and vision issues. It took many more years to admit them and be open to help from people. Then God put on my heart to put my story in writing to encourage others and give glory to His name. Writing my book took me two years and many tears. When my book released last May, I thought “Whew! I’m done!”. Little did I know it was the beginning. What I had hidden for so long, finally accepted and finally put into writing…. people were now reading. Talking about being uncomfortable! Making videos to promote the book takes that discomfort to a whole new level. I am not about promoting me but I will promote what Jesus is to me and how He helps me. As I try to come up with content for videos I see I can use this tool to encourage others to look to Jesus which is my purpose. It’s not about writing blogs, making videos, and selling books but rather opportunities to share Jesus!

If you are on TikTok look for me and follow me @shannonkenleyhinson and I will point you to the best thing ever, Jesus my Lord! You can find my book, “Rooted by the Water” on Amazon and other online retailers. You will laugh, you will cry, and more than likely shake your head in disbelief. It’s transparent and I give God all the glory.

http://www.shannonkenleyhinson.com