If you only knew😳

I’m debating whether to even put this in writing. I occasionally give a true, honest, transparent look at life as a visually and hearing impaired person. Today was one of those days when inwardly I’m like..
Oh great! 🤦🏽‍♀️ Yet outwardly I am hopefully all smiles! Did I pull it off? I think I did but who knows.

Before I even went out the door I was praying and thanking God that His joy is my strength. As I prayed I said Lord, you fill my heart with joy and peace despite the circumstances. Help me! How the day would unfold if I did not start off in Gods word, prayer snd praise , I don’t want to ever find out. It’s tough. Mental and spiritual preparation is so helpful especially when I know I’m going to be feeling like a “fish on dry ground”

Put me in a group of any size and it’s challenging. Mom picked me up to take me to my nieces baby shower. I’m 54 and my 80 year old Mom is driving me around. It’s a fact of life I don’t think I will ever be used to. We arrived at the beautiful shower honoring my niece and many showed up to bless her. At most showers of any type there are fun activities. One was to write a note for the baby that he would see on his 18th birthday. Trouble was the pieces of paper wete small with tiny lines to write on. I can’t see well enough to read my handwriting any more, not to mention writing on lines. Oh Lord help me! What to do? I closed my worse eye and tried to legibly write on the lines. I asked Mom if she could read it, thankfully she could. One down a couple more to go. Next was four jars to guess how many items were in each. I told Mom to just write some numbers. We went out on the deck and there was another activity I did not even see until I was close up. Everyone worked on making baby’s first ABC book. I used to love to color really detailed sketches but I can’t see well enough to do that anymore. Oh the joys of having low vision… NOT! (But I did one anyway. Although I did not sign my name on it. If my niece reads my blog… the one that looks like a kid did it was done by yours truly…. Aunt Shannon 😂 ) That’s just the activities, now let’s talk about the food. I could not find the forks on the table. They were right in front of me but transparent, so I did not see them. Okay…. next! I could see the deviled eggs, crackers, chips and fruit. The kabobs were another story. It took me a second to figure out how to pick it up. Lord have mercy! If people only knew the challenges it would blow your mind. This is just the visual part, not to mention the hearing part. My hearing loss is noticeable but my visual issue is not. What am I to do? Stay home? No! I live life and just hope to play it off! It’s not about me. It’s about blessing those around me. Is it uncomfortable? You bet! Is it cringe worthy? Absolutely! Did anyone notice? Hopefully not except Mpm of course. Even she doesn’t realize how bad my vision is.

Some things in life I don’t think I will ever understand on this side of eternity. It takes a lot of grit on the inside and smiles on the outside. It takes a lot of prayers and small pep talks to get through it. Only God understands. It’s hard. I can’t give in. I must get out and live life even though the normal things are so frustrating. I want to particulate and bless those around me.

If you saw me typing up this blog you would get a good laugh. Part of it I type and part of it I speak. Typos are everywhere because touch screens are so tricky. I use my iPad for blogging. However artificial intelligence can’t understand me half the time and I speak clearly! I say one thing and it types another. I say “ You can’t hear! And it says, “ I’m sorry you feel that way!” I’m over it!

Whether I will publish this or delete it is going through my head. On one hand, it’s helpful to see the difficulties people have to face, difficulties that are for the most part invisible. On the other hand, the truth can be terribly embarrassing. Peoples lives are so different. This is a reminder to be kind, considerate, and helpful. Today is almost over and tomorrow I will step into whatever God has for me. I won’t do it alone. He is with me every step of the way. Treat people the way you want them to treat you. Until next time…

If you liked this blog post please subscribe and share. I write when God puts something on my heart. You can find my autobiography Rooted by the Water on Amazon. I pray it gives you great hope and courage to surrender to Jesus. He is all you really need. All for the Glory of God. Be blessed!

Www.shannonkhinson.com